Meet Isela
“If You’re so good, why are You letting me go through this? What about my family? Where’s Dad? Why is he never here?”
Those were some of the biggest questions I carried my whole life. I grew up in a broken home, watching my single mom struggle just to put food on the table. I wondered, If You’re so good, why are You letting this sweet woman suffer? Why is it so hard for You to provide for us? Maybe You weren’t real. So I decided I’d handle my pain my way.
I poured the alcohol, hoping it would numb everything. Party after party. Late night after late night. Years of calling it fun. Then, I guess You did bless me after all. I became a mom. I finally had the family I never had growing up. Except… I was miserable.
My dad treated my mom this way, so maybe this was just normal. My mom waited until I was eight to leave. Should I wait too? No. I left.
But I was still hurting. I had a one-year-old, and I still didn’t believe I could count on God to help me through the pain. So I kept reaching for the bottle. My son was four when he looked at me and said:“Mommy, you drink a lot…”
And suddenly, I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
What do I do next?
My bestie, Carina Aguilar, had this thing she called “praying.” I guess I had never really tried that. She was also helping launch a new church, so I figured I’d go support her. Maybe I should give this Jesus thing another try. I’m so glad I did.
The pastor complimented my tattoos—that was a first at church! Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all. Everyone was so welcoming. I didn’t feel judged. I felt loved.
One year later, in 2022, I was sober. And I celebrated by being born again. My heart wasn’t carrying that same pain anymore. I had friends who supported me and my son. My mom could finally worry less and sleep at night. I woke up thankful. And my son? He is now nine, full of gratitude instead of growing up asking God the same question I once did: “If You’re real, why am I suffering?” The cycle was broken.
Thank you, Canvas, for welcoming the broken and restoring families and individuals. You showed me that God wasn’t absent in my pain—He was waiting for me to let Him into it. And I’m so grateful I did.
Today, Isela leads Canvas Kids with Addison Lilley and Melinda Shepherd. She is one of the best leaders we have, and God has used her story to help others feel welcome and home at our church. Catch her lifting weights, coaching soccer or hanging out with her family when she is not at church!